DISCLAIMER - Not mine, I couldn't afford the motor and household insurance bills. I promise I'll scrub them down and give them back to DC comics, the WB and anyone else who does own a slice of them when I'm done with them. Story, such as it is, copyright Karen Colohan, June 2002.

Author's notes - 1) Apologies to Poe for the blatant hijacking of lyrics from Not A Virgin - this is apparently what happens when you listen to the wonderful Haunted one time too many! 2) Open mouth, insert tongue firmly in cheek... now read on!


by Karen Colohan

"Lex! Lex!"

The enthusiastic voice echoing through the corridors of the all but empty house was both familiar and far from unwelcome. Though it was a little unexpected this late in the evening - Lex had quickly checked his watch on hearing the first call and realised just how much he'd let time get away from him as he worked.

"In here, Clark." Lex turned his attention back to the computer screen, intent on finishing the latest quarterly projections for the plant so that he didn't have to start on them again tomorrow morning. Which would be Saturday... probably the reason why Clark's normal weekday curfew had been relaxed this evening.

"Lex, I have something to tell you." Clark sounded somewhat breathless. It might have been excitement, or perhaps he'd just run up the stairs while searching for his host.

"Sure, just give me a second to finish up these figures and I'm all yours." Lex could practically hear the pout that greeted his words.

"It's important though..." Clark dropped into the chair nearest Lex's desk.

"All right, go ahead, Clark, if it was important enough to send you over here this late at night I guess I should hear it." Lex glanced up for just long enough to catch the wide, beaming smile on Clark's face. He hid his own smile, the boy's enthusiasm was infectious.

Despite that, Lex was still half-distracted by the columns of figures in front of him. Unexpectedly, they'd added up to a result which was in gratifyingly black print, a marked contrast to all the previous rows of red numbers. Well, hell, it seemed like things at the plant actually were looking up. Focused on that fact, Lex wasn't really listening to what his late night visitor had to say for himself. At least, not at first...

"Lex, I just thought you should know," said Clark carefully. "I'm not a virgin any more."

It took a moment or two, but soon enough the words filtered fully into Lex's brain. And once they had, all Lex's attention was riveted on Clark. His head snapped up at an alarming rate, causing something in his neck to click ominously loudly. He saw Clark wince in sympathy as he finally focused his gaze on the boy sitting far too casually, considering the declaration he'd just made, on the opposite side of Lex's desk.

"What?!" he spluttered eventually, completely shocked out of both his habitual mask of cool control and any semblance of eloquence by the utterly surreal situation. Clark Kent, the (underage) poster boy for farm bred innocence had just announced that he'd lost his virginity... Lex decided he must have skipped etiquette class the day they covered this particular eventuality.

"I said..." Clark began to repeat with dogged patience.

"Clark, I heard what you said," Lex snapped. He really didn't need to hear it again. "But..." Lex blinked, wondering if, in fact, this wasn't Clark Kent at all, but some strange alien doppelganger. Fuck, it made more sense than the alternative.

"So?" Clark's eyes were wide and utterly guileless. He appeared perfectly unconcerned by the full implications of what he'd just revealed.

"So...?" Lex let the word trail off encouragingly. What exactly was Clark getting at? Lex needed help here, lots of it... probably from the very best therapists Luthor money could buy.

Clark shook his head as if it should have been totally obvious. "So now there's no reason why you can't admit that you really like me and have been wanting to fuck me since the day I gave you the kiss of life."

Lex's jaw dropped. "Clark!"

Definitely an alien doppelganger, Lex decided as he stared fixedly at the smiling, dark-haired stranger in front of him. He felt rather like a rabbit hypnotised by the rhythmic sway of the snake that was about to turn him into dinner. However, in deference to his continued sanity, Lex chose to ignore the fact that the aforementioned alien's words were right on the money. That was irrelevant, wasn't it?

Apparently not.

"Well, it's true." This time the pout was of truly epic proportions. "You have, you can't possibly deny it."

Lex chose his words with great care. After all, who knew how a horny (non-virginal) alien might react. "Clark, even if it were true, I still don't see how your virginity," or the lack of it, Lex added silently, "enters into it."

Clark immediately beamed at him, his expression indulgent. "Lex, I know why you've been fighting it. I finally figured out why you always backed off when the flirting got too serious."

"You do?" He had? Lex rather hoped Clark would enlighten him because he was having a hard time remembering any kind of justification with that mouth and those eyes rapidly melting away every ounce of good sense Lex possessed.

"Of course," Clark told him with a patient smile. "You thought if you told me what you really wanted that you'd scare me off... what with you being more experienced than me and everything."

Wow, thought Lex in admiration, that actually sounded logical... But Clark wasn't finished.

"You wouldn't have done, you know," Clark confided. "But just to make sure everything would work out all right, I went and found someone who could help me. I thought I ought to make absolutely sure that I'd understood all that stuff I read on those web sites properly. It's amazing what you can find on some of them... Well, anyway, I think I must have done," he concluded proudly, "because Brad told me I was amazing and that I had the best cocksucker mouth he'd..."

Lex slumped in his chair and simply stared at Clark, still too stunned for speech. Brad? Who the fuck was Brad?

"Ooops! Sorry, Lex," Clark blushed.

It was the first normal reaction Lex had seen from him since he arrived. Well, not counting the pout... or did aliens pout too?

"Too much information I guess," Clark continued blithely. "Hey, but it didn't mean anything, I promise. I only did it so I'd be ready for you."

"Clark..." Lex croaked, his throat feeling as dry as a desert. "You... are you telling me you went out and fucked a complete stranger?"

"Oh no, I'm not that stupid," Clark hurried to reassure him.

"Then how...?"

"Well, I found this internet chatroom and Brad and I kind of got talking. We emailed privately for quite a while before we actually met up and we told each other all about ourselves. It was great, Brad understood what I needed perfectly and why I... Lex, are you okay because your face has gone this really weird colour. Do you need me to do the CPR thing again?"

Lex held up a hand, warding Clark off as he shook his head. Hell, CPR from Clark would probably be the quickest way to kill him right now... not that he wouldn't die a very happy man.

As the silence between them lengthened, Clark finally ventured in a small voice, "Um, Lex, say something, please... Are you angry with me?"

"Clark, in all honesty I don't know what to say." And Lex really didn't. What could he say? Well, there was one thing that needed saying. "You do realise you might have got hurt - or worse - going with someone you met like that. It doesn't matter how long you were emailing each other - he could have been lying. He might have been a mass murderer or a candidate for Chloe's Wall of Weird or..."

"He couldn't have hurt me, Lex," Clark insisted earnestly. "I promise you. And, um, the whole sex thing... well, we were really safe about it."

"That's not the point!"

"You are mad at me."

Lex ran a hand distractedly over his bald scalp. "Clark, I just wish you'd come to me and talked about this."

"I couldn't."

"No? But you could just go out and fuck some stranger." It came out sharper than Lex had intended. Fuck, if anyone was going to be Clark's first it should have been him - and it hurt more than he would have expected that it hadn't been.

At the waspish tone, Clark's gaze dropped, focusing on his hands, which were clasped together in his lap, rather than on Lex. All his earlier happiness seemed to have just bled right out of him. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I just... I wanted to get everything right if... when..."

Lex sighed. Damn! Why did he feel like he'd just kicked someone's favourite puppy?

"Clark, I'd have told you, showed you anything you wanted to know," he said softly. "I still might..."

"Would you?" Clark looked up shyly through a fringe of dark lashes.

No, not an alien doppelganger, Lex decided with relief. Between the blush and the shy farm boy flirtation that just had to be his Clark Kent.

"Of course I would," Lex replied with the ghost of a smile playing about his mouth. "After all, I've been wanting to fuck you since the day you gave me the kiss of life, haven't I?"

It was as simple as that. All at once the sparkle was back in Clark's eyes.

In response, the curve of Lex's lips widened into something approaching a grin. The grin rapidly became a smirk as the no longer virginal Clark bounded out of his seat and around the desk, moving almost too fast to follow. Okay, so if Clark should call him on it, Lex was sure there had to be a few tricks he could teach him that Clark wouldn't have found on the internet.

A moment later, Lex found himself reflecting that having a lapful of responsive, eager to please Clark Kent was... nice. And then he silently congratulated himself on retaining enough higher brain function, given the circumstances, to recognise an extreme understatement when one presented itself to him.

Warm, pliant lips settled possessively over his own and Lex was forced to concede that Brad wasn't wrong. Yes indeed, a cocksucker mouth of the highest calibre... which meant that Clark was sitting in entirely the wrong place. Though it did seem a shame to interrupt the boy when he was getting the hang of kissing so well... Lex graciously allowed Clark to continue ravishing his mouth until they were both forced to admit to the necessity of breathing.

"Lex..." murmured Clark, his eyes more than a little dazed.

Well, Lex could relate to that, but he resisted the temptation to dive back into the luscious mouth. Instead he brought both hands up to rest lightly on Clark's shoulders. "Care to let me test out Brad's opinion?" he asked, his voice low and, judging by the shiver that went through Clark, suitably sexy.

He pushed downwards with careful emphasis and Clark obligingly slid out of his lap, coming to rest on his knees between Lex's spread thighs. Big, warm hands carefully began to stroke Lex through the soft fabric of his slacks and his head dropped back, banging against his chair with an audible thump. Ah well, head trauma seemed to be an occupational hazard of life in Smallville and Lex had suffered much worse in far less pleasant situations since arriving there.

As agile fingers slowly began to work his zipper down, Lex reached out to pet Clark's soft, dark hair.

"Clark," he said roughly, tangling his fingers in the silky strands and tilting Clark's head up until they were eye to eye. "There's something I think you ought to know too."

"Yeah?" Clark's hand had found its way inside Lex's pants and was carefully insinuating itself under the waistband of his boxers.

"Yeah." The determinedly wayward hand wrapped around his swollen shaft and gave an experimental squeeze. "I'm... not a virgin either."

And sniggering like that really wasn't the done thing when you were up close and personal with someone's crotch. A guy could get paranoid. Still, it did have the bonus of directing Clark's hot breath over the damp, sensitive head of his cock. Lex shivered.

Hazel eyes peered up at him mischievously. "Would you be horribly offended if I told you that I never thought you were."

"That depends."

"Oh? On what?"

"On whether you decide to make good on Brad's claims for that mouth of yours."

"Ohhh..." The knowing exclamation shaped Clark's lips perfectly and he bent down, closing them firmly around the smooth length of Lex's cock. And then he began to suck.

An embarrassingly short time later Lex found himself reflecting that while he might not in fact be a virgin he was pretty sure he'd screamed like one when Clark unexpectedly deep throated him, his unimpeachably talented mouth ripping Lex's climax from him bare seconds later.

And as he slumped back in his chair, breathing wildly and with his heart still racing, while Clark proceeded to lick every available inch of his flesh clean, Lex honestly didn't care.

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