by Karen Colohan

Pete walked into the Kents' barn. What he saw traumatised him far more than discovering Clark was an alien ever had.

Lionel Luthor was bent over Mr. Kent's old motorcycle while Jonathan pounded into his ass screaming, "Tell me you're my bitch, Luthor!"

"I'm your bitch," Lionel moaned.

Pete fainted clean away.

In the loft upstairs, Clark's vision switched out of X-ray mode.

"I'm glad Pete didn't come up here," he said. "This would have really freaked him out."

Looking up from checking Clark's science homework, Lex frowned. "Why?"

Clark grinned. "Because he's convinced we're the ones who're a couple."

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