DISCLAIMER - Highlander and its characters is the copyright of Rysher and Panzer/Davis Productions and no infringement is intended. The story, such as it is, is copyright Karen Colohan January 1999.

AUTHOR'S NOTES - This was inspired by a challenge on the Slash list to write a story about our favourite couples finding themselves trapped together in the boot of a car. It is the first of two takes on this particular scenario. It should be pointed out that this is silly and has neither a plot, nor any redeeming features whatsoever....

TIGHT CORNERS - 1

[thump]

"Ow!!"

[thump, thump] {sound of muffled cursing}

"Mac, what the hell are you doing there?"

"I'm trying to find the catch... Ouch! Shit!!"

"Trying to find...?" {suspiciously} "What do you mean 'trying to find the catch'? I didn't think you were going to close the lid."

"I wasn't. I didn't... Well, not on purpose, anyway."

"Oh no, no, no, no! You are not telling me what I think you're telling me - are you?"

{silence}

"Bloody hell, you are - you've shut us in here, haven't you?!"

"Um, well, yes.... I suppose so. Come on, Methos, it was just an accident. It could have happened to anyone."

{loud sigh} "Oh no - something like this could only happen to you, MacLeod. Dammit, how do I let you get me into this much trouble?"

"I guess it's all just a part of my charm."

"Very funny... Wonder why I'm not laughing?"

"Probably because you have no sense of humour."

{sarcastically} "Ha, ha, you'll have me in stitches in a minute!"

"If you've quite finished, Methos, maybe you'd care to turn that 5000 year old brain of yours to figuring a way out of here."

"I wasn't the one who.... Oh, all right, but bloody hell, MacLeod, do I always have to be the brains in this partnership? You could try shouting for help. Can you hear anyone out there?"

"Probably the guy we were hiding from in the first place."

"Ever the optimist... He'll be long gone, Mac."

"Fine, try shutting up for a minute then and let me listen."

"All right, all right, if it gets us out of this, this..."

"It's called a trunk. We're in America now, Methos."

"God bless America..."

"Methos..."

"OK, I won't say another word."

"Good!"

{silent pause as Mac listens}

"Can you hear anything, Mac?"

"You mean apart from your incessant whining?"

"Oh, that's very nice, MacLeod. I think I have a right to whine given the circumstances!"

"Look, if it's an apology you want - well, I'm sorry, all right."

"You might at least try to sound vaguely sincere."

"Ah, now, if it's sincerity you want I suggest you try asking me again once we get out of here. I might just be feeling a little more sincere then! And before you ask again, no, I couldn't hear anything. I think we're stuck here - at least for the time being."

"Oh that is just brilliant. I don't suppose you happened to bring along a few beers, just to pass the time?"

"Look, how was I to know the boot lid..."

{sweetly} "That's trunk, MacLeod, or had you forgotten?"

"Whatever! God, you can be a real pain in the ass sometimes, Methos. You know that?" [takes a deep breath] "Anyway, how was I to know the lid would close so easily? I thought I'd left it ajar."

"But what the hell possessed you to think this would be a good place to hide in the first place?"

"There weren't too many choices in case you'd forgotten, Methos! Besides, I don't recall you coming up with any better suggestions."

"I had other things on my mind at the time - like the fact both our swords were at the loft while a lunatic was doing his damnedest to try and kill us!"

"You can't hide a sword under a t-shirt, Methos."

"Did I say you could?"

"No, but... Well, you were the one who wanted to go to Joe's. There was perfectly good beer in the fridge back at the loft..."

"Oh fine, so now this is all my fault. I should have known. I don't know how you always manage to do this, MacLeod, but..."

"Shut up, Methos!"

"No, I have a point to make here."

"I said shut up!"

"Make me..."

"Oh yeah, that's very adult."

"You get me trapped in the back end of a car - I don't care what you want to call it - and expect me to be calm and reasonable about it? Think again, Mac!"

"Getting angry isn't going to help."

"Maybe not, but it sure as hell will make me feel better. Dammit, now I'm getting cramp. I wish there was more room in here!"

"Methos, I'm asking nicely..."

"Well I didn't ask for any of this!"

"OK, enough is enough. You want me to shut you up? Fine, I will."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"How?"

"Like this..."

"Mrmph! Mmmmmm..." {sounds of kissing} Oh! Bloody hell, Mac!!"

"Doesn't take much to set you talking again does it?"

"Well what do you...?"

{more kissing followed by heavy breathing}

"Ready to keep quiet now?"

"Actually, now you come to mention it, you seem to be talking a lot too, Mac..."

{nibbling and licking sounds are punctuated by moans from Mac}

"Methos!"

"Of course, if you really wanted to convince me to stop talking..."

"Yes?"

"A little over-eager here, aren't we, MacLeod?"

"Just put up or shut up, Methos!"

"Oooh, I love it when you go all masterful on me..."

"Methos!!!!"

"All right! Now, let me see..."

{sound of zip being slid down}

"Ohhhh!"

"My, that must have been uncomfortable, MacLeod."

"Um, yeah, er... are you sure this is such a good idea, Methos? Much as I appreciate the, er... assistance, what if someone comes?"

"Oh, I'm counting on it, Mac, trust me!"

"What do you...?" [gentle rubbing] "Oh, now I see!"

"Precisely. It seems like you're a quick study, Mac."

"I'm sure I am." {sounds of serious kissing and nibbling} "What do you think?"

"Oh yeah, Mac, I'd say you were learning very fast."

"I think I'm ready for some extra tuition. Maybe you'd care to give me a quick demonstration?"

"How quick? Like this?" [firm rubbing]

"Mmm, I'd say that was just about perfect, Methos."

"Well, you know what they say about practice, Mac, and I've had 5000 years of it."

"Believe me, it shows... Ohhhh, oh my God!"

"Um, I don't suppose you'd care to make this a bit more - mutual, shall we say?"

"Oh, sorry, Methos, I quite forgot myself for a moment there."

"I noticed. I didn't realise you were so easily distracted, MacLeod. It's not a good survival trait." {sound of another zip being unfastened} "Mmmm, that's much better. Oh yeah, much, much better."

"You've started talking - oh! - again, Methos."

"Well, you - oh Gods! - know what to do about that now, don't you!"

"Mmmmmm... Oh, yeah, I do, don't I."

{sounds of kissing and sundry other muffled noises, eventually culminating in loud, satisfied moans}

"Wellll, that was an education, Mac."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I never knew you were so good with your hands."

"Flatterer! Anyway, do you think that might have got anyone's attention, Methos?"

"It certainly got mine."

"I'm delighted to hear it, but that doesn't help get us out of here, you know."

"True, but it does make waiting for rescue a whole lot more fun!"

"You have a point there..."

{laughs} "And so do you, Mac!"

"You have a one track mind, old man."

"Guilty as charged! Still, it does seem a shame to let this go to waste..."

"I always suspected you were insatiable."

"In the right company, MacLeod."

"And are you?"

"Oh, I think the evidence speaks for itself..."

"Hm, yeah, it does rather, doesn't it."

"So, got any suggestions as to what to do with all this mutual insatiability?"

"Um, we really should be trying to get out of this car first, shouldn't we, Methos?"

"Dammit, Mac, sometimes you're just no fun! Look, you have your mobile phone in your pocket, right? And I'm quite sure you have Joe's phone number programmed into it..."

"Oh... I never thought of that. Wait a minute, why didn't you mention this before?"

"Well, I only realised you had your phone when I was in search of the er... rather more appealing things you had tucked away in your trousers. Then everything started to get interesting and I - well, I figured telling you could wait."

{sigh} "Methos!"

"I didn't hear you complaining at the time."

"Guess I wasn't..."

"Um, Mac, I thought you were going to call Joe."

"I will - in a little while."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I have the feeling something interesting is about to come up again..."

THE END

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