DISCLAIMER: Star Trek, Star Trek:Deep Space Nine, Star Trek:Voyager and their characters are copyright Paramount and no infringement is intended. The story, such as it is, is copyright Karen Colohan  May 1998.

MEMORIES

by Karen Colohan

Julian Bashir couldn't believe his luck. He had been watching the first officer of the newly returned Voyager ever since he'd come into the Infirmary for his routine check up. If Julian was honest with himself he found the stockily built human reminded him in some indefinable way of Garak - ironic, considering the man had been a Maquis before Voyager was lost! But no, Julian didn't want to go down that road. Garak was ancient history - Chakotay was now.

The young doctor had been sitting alone in Quark's when Chakotay entered - also alone. As the older man had turned away from the bar, drink in hand, his eyes had caught and held Julian's. The unspoken question had been asked and answered in mere seconds - and now here they were in Chakotay's newly assigned quarters.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" Chakotay asked.

"No - thank you." Julian watched the other man as he headed across the room to the replicator.

"I hope you don't mind if I do. I can't tell you how much of a treat it is to have unrestricted use of a replicator." Chakotay glanced over his shoulder at the doctor and Julian shook his head. Chakotay quietly requested his drink and took the glass as it materialised. He sipped at the liquid as he moved back to join the younger man.

"And this... is this a treat too? Us, that is," Julian elaborated at Chakotay's questioningly raised eyebrow.

"Oh yes," agreed Chakotay with a strange intensity. "It's been - too long..." Julian sensed that there was more the older man wasn't saying.

"Do I - remind you of someone else?" he asked tentatively.

"Not - precisely, but... there was someone on Voyager," admitted Chakotay finally. "He didn't make it back. Maybe it was for the best."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be! Look, Julian, maybe this was a bad idea..."

"No, no it wasn't. If it makes you feel any better then... well, while we're being so candid - you remind me of someone too. We - split up. I miss him. We can spend tonight being lonely - or we could commiserate together."

"I'd like that."

"So would I."

For a long moment they simply looked at one another. It was Julian who made the first move. He reached out and took the glass from Chakotay's unresisting fingers, setting it down on the table. As if the action freed him to respond Chakotay pulled the slighter body to him. Julian stepped willingly into the embrace, tipping his head back for the kiss he knew was coming.

Chakotay's fingers slid up into the doctor's hair. Soft, like his, but the wrong colour...

Julian's lips were warm and pliant as they opened to Chakotay's kiss. He drew the older man's tongue eagerly into his mouth, sucking at its tip. God, he had missed the warmth, the sweetness... Julian pressed himself against the stockier body, craving the physical contact. His own trapped erection rubbed against the swelling bulge at Chakotay's groin. Too long since I felt this...

If Chakotay was surprised by the doctor's ardent response he didn't show it. This came too close to what he had been missing for him to be inclined to question Julian's motives. And if they were each imagining it was another body they held, was that so terrible? At least they had both been honest about it.

Mouths still fused in an urgent kiss their hands moved to find the fastenings of their partner's uniform. They stripped one another with practised ease. They drew apart only to pull off their undershirts. Neither paused to look at the body they had revealed. It would only have reminded them... Hard muscle met lithe sinew as their hips undulated together, spreading the warm stickiness over sweat-sheened skin.

Julian felt the big hands move lower to grasp the taut muscle of his buttocks. It felt good - and even better as strong fingers kneaded his flesh. He sought Chakotay's mouth again, stabbing his tongue forcefully between the older man's lips. The doctor allowed himself a moment of curiousity - his fingers found and traced the lines of the tattoo on Chakotay's forehead. His wandering fingertips slid lower, tracing on the smooth face the outline of ridges which should have framed....

No! Chakotay was right - this was a mistake...

Sensing Julian's sudden distress Chakotay pulled back. He searched the young man's face, but Julian refused to meet his eyes. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No. I - still need this..." Julian admitted.

"I understand."

Chakotay tightened his grasp on the slighter frame, grinding their erections together. Julian thrust his own hips, feeling the nearness of his release. It swept over him and he clung to Chakotay as he spilled out his pain along with his seed. The older man found his own peak a few moments later, wondering who "Elim" might be as his lips also gave up their secret.

"Goodbye, Tom..." murmured Chakotay as he gently cradled Julian's exhausted body against his own.

The End

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